Many of my articles emphasize the dangers of excessive criticism and harsh discipline of children and of inflexible educational structures. This has led some to assume that I am against discipline and structure. In fact, the opposite is true. Because I appreciate the...
Parenting
Honoring Abusive Parents
As a clinical psychologist in the frum community I have frequently been asked by patients to address the question of the obligation to honor abusive parents. As a result, I have researched the issue and have discussed it with some prominent Rabbonim. I would like to...
A Tale of Two Mothers: Reading the Signals Wrong
I recently received a wonderful book as a gift. “A Canopy of Stars” by C.B. Weinfeld (2019) is a collection of inspirational stories masterfully written and indeed very inspirational. I am eagerly looking forward to reading the other books in the series. There was,...
Developing Middos: Learned Or Experienced?
When Hillel was asked to summarize the Torah in one sentence, he proclaimed: “Di’lach sani, lechavrach lo savid ---- What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor; the rest is commentary.”1 This is the minimum level of chessed: do not harm others. A higher level...
The Role of Parents in the Current Crisis of “Off the Derech” Adolescents: Dare We Discuss It? Can We Afford Not To?
The frum community has been struggling with the problem of rebellious adolescents. Many factors have been cited as possible causes for this problem. A prominent therapist recently stated at a professional conference that we currently do not know what causes this...
Rebellious or Individualist: When the Apple Falls Far From the Tree
[An Interview] [Excerpts from the article:] In “My Son’s Different Path,” a fascinating article published recently by Aish Hatorah, Heather Desilva tells of her experience as a secular mother whose son has chosen to become frum. Describing the dilemma she grappled...
Beginning the Healing Process
“It can happen in the best of families” is an expression often heard in regard to rebellious teenagers. Indeed, when a teenager goes “off the derech,” we tend to blame the teenager himself, bad friends or negative influences. We tell ourselves that even a youngster...
Admonishing Without Destroying
A young couple become parents. They begin to imagine all the positive and uplifting interactions they will have with their children. Admonishing and criticizing children is most likely not part of this blissful scene. Unfortunately, the reality of life and the chinuch...
Corporal Punishment: Have the Times Changed?
Some people have questioned the contemporary, positive, and more gentle approach in chinuch advocated by most gedolim and mechanchim from the gemara in Kesuvos 50a which recommends using a harsh approach when learning with children over the age of 12, including...
The Impact of Marital Disharmony on Children
Through the Eyes of a Frightened Child Mishpacha Magazine, 08/29/2007 p. 64 By: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz [Introductory comment by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz: Recently, I posted a comment on my website inviting teens-at-risk to submit essays to my private email address sharing...