Through the Eyes of a Frightened Child

Mishpacha Magazine, 08/29/2007 p. 64
By: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

[Introductory comment by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz: Recently, I posted a comment on my website inviting teens-at-risk to submit essays to my private email address sharing their thought and perspectives on why we are losing so many of our children. Shortly thereafter, I received a riveting email from a bachur vividly describing his home life and the challenges that it posed to his emotional development. Here are his actual comments, which I edited for publication.
Reading these lines reminded me of the words of our great rebbi, Rabbi Avrohom Pam, who would often remark that the formula for success with one’s children is 50% tefila, prayer, and 50% shalom bayis, marital harmony.]

Building a Life on Quicksand

By: An anonymous bochur
The feelings of shame started when I was a little child. My parents didn’t express any joy at being with each other. They criticized each other harshly, and they always found something to criticize about me. My parents would argue in my presence in loud voices, often yelling at each other in anger. Terrified of what might happen, I would withdraw to stunned silence. When I was finally able to speak, I would plead with them to stop fighting, but they were still trying to prove themselves right in my eyes – which seemed to me like they were expecting me to solve their problems.

Read more: Impact Marital Disharmony